Real American Mean Guys - WWE - Mean Girls spoof
by EMMIAMBROSEBITCH
Summary: Ryan Reeves, aka The Ryback, has just joined his first school - High school - ALL the way from Africa! How will he cope? What will happen when he comes face to face with the Real American Guys? Drama, crushes, backstabbing, and plenty more. Characters: Ryback, Jack Swagger, Antonio Cesaro, Zeb Colter, The Shield, Natalya, Damien Sandow AND MORE! DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING. ZERO.


Ryan Reeves wiped the beads of sweat forming over his forhead as he pushed his way through a sea of backpacks and students cramming the hallway. Ryan, or Ryback as he was more commonly known back in Africa, was starting his first day of high school. Needless to say, he was not looking forward to this. Clutching his lunch bag and the few dollars his mom had given him for his lunchtime milk, he knew this would be difficult. All his life he'd been home schooled back in Africa, with all the little birdies and the little monkeys and other exotic wildlife. This was a new chapter in his life. It was goodbye Africa, and hello High School.

As he entered what he guessed was his new classroom, he took a deep breath and braced himself. Kids. Kids everywhere. He felt as if all eyes were on him. They knew he was fresh meat, and they could probably sense the nervousness of the poor new kid. Well, it was practically radiating from him. 'Keep cool, keep cool' he told himself. He didn't want to have the name 'Cryback' under his belt again. He turned his head to the left to see a short, stocky built woman stood in front of the board sorting her papers. She had a short jagged hairdo and although she obviously kept herself in shape, she clearly still dressed like a 20-something year old. 'Must be Mirs Guerrero. Hot.' He let out a quiet snort. Forcing himself to get the worst part over with, he hurried over to the first vacant seat, which was behind a pretty dark skinned girl, with deep red afro-like hair. "Nuh uh, you don't wanna sit there. Alicia Fox's boyfriend is gonna sit there." He turned to where the voice came from. It was a girl in the row next to him. She was dressed in all pink, including a hot pink streak in one side of her slightly curled blonde hair. His attention was taken away from the blonde when a tall dark haired guy pushed past him. He had dark, somewhat curly hair, and neatly shaved hair adorned his face. 'Nice big ears and a crooked nose, fag' Ryback held his thoughts in. Who was he to talk about looks anyway? "Hey babe" the deep voice came from the male who just pushed past him, as he sat behind who he now knew as 'Alicia'. She turned around to him and grinned a 'hello' as she pulled him into her, and they started to make out like it was a daily classroom routine. Ryback continued down the row to sit behind a..sorta strange looking guy, who had quite a manic look spread across his features. He was wearing a straw-like fedora hat and a hawaiin looking shirt. But just as he was about to take his seat, blondie piped up again. "Uh uh! He farts a lot." And sure enough, a fart-sounding squeek was heard from the seat of the crazed looking dude. He turned his head slowly, sending Ryback a smirk. 'Smelly bastard.' Opinions were forming quick on these 'kids'.

He decided on a spare-and somewhat safe-seat next to the blonde girl who'd pretty much just guided him around the room. Not ten seconds after he sat down, a small dark skinned man wearing a suit, with a peanut shaped head, walked in the room, also known as Mr Theadore Long. "Everythang alright in here, playas?" he hollered out to the class. "EXCUSE ME!" The shrill screech of Mrs Guerrero came when no one paid attention to peanut head. 'Alright, and who's this douchebag?' Ryback questioned himself. The man suddenly laid his eyes on Ryback. "Well, I just wanted to let y'all know that we have a new student joining us. He just moved here all the way from Africa. Mrs Guerrero's eyes lit up as she focused her attention on the Mexican student on the other side of the room, otherwise known as Alberto. She spread her arms out to him in a welcoming manner. "Welcome!" Alberto looked at her like she'd sprouted another head. "I'm from Mexico." he informed her like she was thick. A blush crept up Mrs Guerrero's neck as she gave Kofi a thumbs up. "Great.."  
Peanut head let his presence be known once again. "His name is Ryan, Ryan Reeve. Where are ya, Ryan?" Ryback cleared his throat. "That's me." He sniffed. "And I go by Ryback." "My apologies. I have a nephew named Kofi, and I know how mad he gets when I call him coffee. Almost as mad as I get when I think about the fact that my sister named him Kofi. Well anyways, welcome playa." "Thanks Mr Long, you can leave now. Unless you want to be escorted out by security again." Barely 9am and Mrs Guerrero couldn't hold back her bitchy threats. This was going to be a fun class. "Aight, aight, good day everybody!" Peanut head made his way out the door. The day begins.

The first day of school was a blur. A stressful, surreal blur. Ryback got in trouble for the most random things.  
He even needed a PASS to go for a piss. What the hell? He had never lived in a world where adults didn't trust him, where they were always yelling at him. He'd had a lot of friends in Africa. But so far, none in Florida.

He took his seat next to blondie and her male friend, who was currently sat in a navy coloured robe. Someone was obviously tired this morning. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed the robe-wearer staring at him. He whipped his head around to stare at the guy, but he didn't even flinch. "Is it natural that you do not posess any real form of hair on your head, boy!?" Robe guy practically boomed at him. "Uh, no, I just shave it." Ryback responded with a puzzled look. "Oh my god, like Britney Spears, right!?" Blondie piped up. Robe guy butted in again "It's tremendously gorgeous!" clearly admiring Rybacks style. "Oh..thank yo-" "YOU'RE WELCOME! See, Nat, this is the look I'd go for if I could pull this off.." The blonde girl rolled her eyes and introduced her friend to The Ryback. "This is Damien. He's almost too gay to function. And I'm Natalya." Ryback smiled at his new friends. "Hi, I'm the Ryback! Uh..do you guys know where Room G14 is..?" Damien tapped his chin in thought whilst Natalya pursed her lips. "G14...G14..I think, sir, that is in the building located at the back." Damien spoke up. "Yah, it's in the back building, Rybotch, we'll take you." Natalya added with a smile. "Thanks guys..and it's Ryback."


End file.
